finally joined curves..

So i finally joined curves again.
oh it felt great to MOVE.
i worked up a sweat but wasnt like, panting for breath or felt like i over did it at all.
the lady took my measurments and weighed me (..i like their scale! it said i was like 6lbs less than my scale does..Lol). i told her about my joints and sometimes some things i can't do (one machine in particular) and how theyd affect their new pc system. if i decide i cant do it, we can take it out of my rotation for a few wks..
the problem is its not a weekly basis, its a day to day, minute to minute basis. so..we'll see. i really dont like the machine anyway (absolutely least favorite) so maybe i'll just nix it entirely.

haha when it came to stretching after, she went over the lil board of stretches they recommend. and half of them didnt feel like it did anything whatsoever. "how the hell is this a stretch?!" lol she looked at me like i was nuts.
also when i fully reached around my feet..Lol my hamstrings feel soo tight to me, i feel like i should be able to stretch so much more. i keep tryin to remind myself what the PT lady told me.

Its been 2 or so yrs since i worked out at curves and i never did follow their suggestions. lol i just did what felt good to me... i just need to be careful and not over stretch. its hard cuz stretching feels SOO good. but i wont know if its too much till either i go to stand up and things feel "off" or loss and like something ain't right..or i get sharp stabby pains or the next day when suddenly random joints hurt and are waaayyy oober tight.

i remembered my PT lady told me that i should actually stretch my hip flexors cuz they were weak and such. so i did the stretches she told me to. (the ONLY stretches she told me to...)

im not a contortionist by any means but apparently i do stretch more than ur average chick. i never can tell unless im directly comparing though. just feels...normal for me.

increasing issues with my right shoulder. only in certian positions though that enable it to fully relax. (driving, reaching for the pc mouse, etc) seriously feels like it'll dislocate..and i can feel in there how structually its movin in a weird position. and it hurts. but then i move it and its ok. maybe a lil tender if i do it too much in a day..

i wanna goto curves again after clinicals tomorrow. i like my new workout clothes i got last yr when i joined 24 hr fitness. i dunno what it is but with the old ones i had i felt...ooooober frumpy. and some how that influced me. and i didnt wanna workout lol. my new ones are more form fitting and i dunno, comfortable.

i told the lady my motivation is for my health this time. a meager attempt to keep my joints in place.
but i still had to do wt loss goals. so technically i have a 28lb wt loss goal..i highly doubt ill get there. i dont recall ever being less than 180.. ive been between 180 and 200 since i was 11 yrs old. (all time highest was 211 tho in 2002... i worked my ass off tho and it slowly came off.. then i got back up to 203 when i broke my foot and spent 6 months on crutches.. but..naturally w/ movin at work and crap and walkin, it went down to about 190-195)
everytime ive worked out b4, i get close to 180 and i injure myself somehow (not working out related) and have to take time off. (back strain, breaking foot, straining ligament in my knee needing a knee immobilizer etc..) tho this time im startin at 188..so we'll see how it goes.


im hoping by having my main motivaters be my joints/health/prevent an increase of pain (that has steadily gotten worse over the last 2 yrs).. i'll be more apt to stick with it.

i dont want to be my parents.
and if i end up like mom when im 55.. well, at least i know i TRIED to do something to help. and.. muscle tone/less fat is always good anyway...

im not weak. curves lady said i was pretty musclular. and i know i have big bones. but i need the RIGHT muscles to be strong too..

Oh and im gunnna try to do my PT stuff when im stretching.. so stretch and lay on the floor doing physical therapy. might as well right? way comfier than my hardwood floors. and im already warmed up lol and... that way im workin special muscles too, them little ones of mine that ARE weak so my hamstrings wont be so overworked..

im tired.
2 more wks of school till 2 wks of spring break.. yippy!

schools in motion again..

Well, apparently when you show up to class in a wrist brace and limping fairly badly... people like to ask questions. And I am at a loss for what to say.

I do not want to bring attention to being gimpy or having problems. So i played both issues off and basically was a vague as i possibly could be without being rude.I got a few weird looks. Ppl were obviously wanting some kind of story to go along with my wrist brace and gimpyness...
But how do you explain without saying you have a weird genetic condition, that

"Oh that? sometimes my joints do that. I have NO clue what I did, but somehow I sprained my wrist fairly badly...its been painful for 4 weeks now.. only slightly better now that's its immobilized and I got a proper brace. And my ankle? Oh i was at a restaurant and silly me! I thought I could take a step onto my left foot..ha! what was i thinking?!"

How am i suppose to explain that... without saying "Oh yea, so my ligaments hate me and sometimes my joints do weird things.. so crap hurts relatively often, but its no biggie, i can still do my job....most of the time."

I HAVE to be fine for nursing. It is too physical not to be. I gotta pretend I'm fine and dandy, simple as that. Once i'm a nurse, it doesn't matter as much.. then I can take sick days if I have to. And if i find myself in way worse shape, I can take a job thats far less physical than floor nursing. Lots of options out there.
Have to be able to get my licence and prove I can take care of my patients first tho. Year and 1/2 to go..

Least my body somewhat cooperated and the majority of my gimp-ness was on break. when I couldn't bear any weight on the back of my foot (heel-area) for a week and 1/2 before school started... and the 4 weeks of the wrist brace prior to school starting (only 2-3 more weeks of school wearing the brace) ... Oh and the hip SI joint tweaking thing it likes to do after car rides lol thankfully that was only 3-4 days. hottub helped greatly with that...

The MAJORITY of it was when i was on break. That was the deal I made with my body. it can break down on break, just not when i have clinicals.

my wrist isnt all better. and i PROLLY should be wearing the brace the 5 other days I'm not in clinicals. it still hurts decently bad but for the most part i can lift things.

trick is i gotta keep myself busy enough so i dont have time to think about things right? right. ignore knees, hips, wrists and ankles. check.

i still need to exercise. i dont want to spend the money but im really thinking of Curves again.. it was nice. minus the stretchy machine in the middle that did more harm than good..(but oh how good it feels at the time..hah)

i wish they had a 24 hr fitness here. i had so many more options when different joints decided to flip out.. knee all funky feeling and slipping? go do something else. hip spazzing out? do something else. lol im worse off than i was when i did curves before but i think itd still work for me alright.
I'd like to know medically exactly what happens when each of my joints do their thing.. I know i don't dislocate fully but.. I wanna know what the sensation/discomfort/pain is. I wanna know exactly what causes each one.

i wish my lungs didnt throw a big fit when i try to exercise outside. damn asthma.

I wish i had a friend here. I'm use to being alone but the total isolation...gets to me sometimes. Its hard when its not my choice. though if i had the same people around.. i probably would spend about the same amount of time alone anyway to be honest. i just like to think i wouldn't.

i should sleep. gotta study my ass off tomorrow.. test on the cardiac system on Tuesday I am ill-prepared for.